Journal Entry: Thu Jan 24, 2013, 6:34 PM
I'm just gonna ramble here for a bit.
I'm sorry if anybody was actually expecting any kind of art update from me. I haven't been able to do any scanning because I can't find the driver disk for my scanner. So unless I find that there probably isn't going to be anything up for a while. Again.
If anybody remembers, I went to a Homestuck meet called Sparklestuck last December. I'm going to the next (technically third) Sparklestuck meet this weekend, and it's one of the few things I've legitimately looked forward to in a long time.
I'm also kind of toying with the realization that I'm going to be 21 next Saturday. Right now at least... it doesn't feel like it's going to be anything special. Just another day that just happens to have some bonuses in it. I know that probably sounds bitter and cynical, but I feel like I've kind of become that kind of person recently.
I guess I'm just tired mentally, physically, and emotionally. A lot of bullshit has happened to me over the last year, and to bastardize a line from Sherlock, I think it's burned the heart out of me. I've come to the realization that I've grown so distant from some old friends that I just feel out of place on the rare occasions I do see them. I'm afraid that I'm becoming distant from the friends I do have right now, and that scares the shit out of me. I've lost two very good close friends, all because we all were probably too proud, stubborn, and stupid to communicate properly and try to work things out.
And one of those friends I lost is my now ex-girlfriend. I know she will probably never see this, and if she does I don't expect her to respond at all. But if she does see this: I'm sorry, I miss you, and I just want my friend back. But I don't expect to see you again, so I'll have to deal with that I suppose.
Long story short, I'm tired, bitter, lonely, and honestly on the brink of giving up. I don't know what to do anymore, and I'm sick and tired of almost everything now.
That's all for now I suppose. If anybody actually read all of that, bless your face.
(Also, if anybody does decide to draw me birthday art, please link me to it in a comment or note. I don't check the deviations in my inbox anymore. Too much trouble.)
Listening to: "Gywn, Lord of Cinder" - Dark Souls OST